Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Why didn't the man cross the road? He was paralyzed.

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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Whats the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

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There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

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What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did Patrick buy an apple? So he can eat it

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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What did the man say halfway through his sponsored trek across the Sahara desert? Well this was a dumb idea

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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