Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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A: Knock Knock! B: Come in!

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

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my mom raped yerr foot

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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Dick spice

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Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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How much does a fat penguin weigh? 45 kilograms.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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What do you call a seven foot Egyptian named Randy who trains leopards to uproot floral cactuses? Randy.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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