SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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I tell an anti joke!.

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why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Get in the Batmobile.

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why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What did the snow flake which could talk say to the other snow flake which could talk None of us are the same.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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Your mom was diagnosed with aids. Her prognosis was 6 months....clearly this joke is about the Holocaust.

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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Jennifer Kim is the nicest person I have ever met, everyone loves her.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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