Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the black man pulled over? He was going 10 miles over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Women's sports

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

An Asian walks out of the library.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +30

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops