Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimers, Hey i just met you.

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space is fun

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

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Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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they sent me too your moms house and 9 months later you are here

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My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I LOVE YOUR MOMA CAUSE SHE STINKS OF POO :) BY VICKY CASSIDY, RENATA SZABO, ELLA AND HEIDI MCMILLAN

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What does Batman say to scare Robin? Don't make me get the bat!

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Iggy Azalea

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Stranger: Greetings. House-owner: No, you were supposed to say, "Knock, Knock". Stranger: Fine. Knock, knock... House-owner: Nobody's home. Stranger: These quirks are really getting on my nerve. Silly antics only serve to frustrate me. Oh, the irony!

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(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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A man walked into a bar 2 hours later he died from drinking and driving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops