''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others dont

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Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

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hi to the world fromthe world

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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zebras

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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Why did spongebob eat Patrick Because he was hungry

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I LOVE YOUR MOMA CAUSE SHE STINKS OF POO :) BY VICKY CASSIDY, RENATA SZABO, ELLA AND HEIDI MCMILLAN

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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Knock,Knock Whos there ? Hola Holo who ? Holocaust Hahahaha

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What looks like a dick? A penis

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Black people are ugly. They should not live in this world. They are apes. They should live as apes not humans. Why do they have ugly curly hair, fat lips, and a big flat nose? SO UGLY!! EWW

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Hey, Max!!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

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a retard lost...

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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