What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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how do you kill a Jewish person? you don't that just fucking mean!

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Three Jews walk into a bar... I lied, it was a gas chamber.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Good guess!

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A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

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Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

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A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You poke-her-face

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The colour of their skin.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

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whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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