Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What is worse than finding 4 worms in your apple 3 holocausts the 4th worm would be dead after 3 holocausts

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A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

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A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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What does a homeless man eat for Thanksgiving? Half of a big mac he found in the dumpster

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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What is the difference between a jew and a tree a tree is awesome and a jew is a jew

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A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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what kind of animals marriage is high? snails because It has home and car.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? A problem What do you call 10 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call 100 black men on the moon? A problem What do you call ALL the black men on the moon? A very serious problem. We should probably try and rescue them.

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knock knock your nana had a cardiac arrest and thankfull dead now

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me Me who? Oh sorry forgot you had alzheimers :/

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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How do two porcupines make love? Well actually it's doubtful that porcupines feel higher emotions like love - they pretty much just mate for reproductive purposes.

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Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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