Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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If I could change one thing about the alphabet, knd stte bporw xzuor flllle !

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Hey I had a wet and dirty dream about you last night. Really? What happened? You got hit by a bus and I pissed myself laughing. .......

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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Q: What is the differenc between a Jew and a boy scout? A: The boy scout comes back from camp.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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have you ever tasted ethiopian food? ..... neither have they

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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Farts smell bad!

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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