So my girlfriend says I'm a pedophile. What does she know she's nine.

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how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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What did Connor say to the fat man? Dude ur extremely fat.

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Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A black baby dies and goes to Heaven. When god put wings on him the baby sais, "Ahh gee god am I an angel?" Then god sais, "Nahh nigga you a bat."

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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What do dead people think when they die? Nothing,they're dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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