Me and me!!!! LOL! i'm a comedian!

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocost

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the Canadian wife is very disappointed in her night.

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Why did the golfer wear two pair of trousers? Because he's a wanker

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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God is real

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Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

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whats the difference between a pair of shoes, and a computer. alot.

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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What do you call a deaf black man? Well, if you did not already know his name, you would first have to contact a member of his family, or a friend, and ask them, as even if you were able to communicate the question of 'what is your name?' to the man, it is well known that the speech of deaf people is nowhere near as clear as that of people who are able to hear.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Black guy. Due to your skin tone I feel you may cause potential danger to me and my family, so for that reason I will not allow you to enter my home.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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Why did the kid stop going to school? His alarm clock broke.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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