Parents: What do you want for your birthday? Boy: A yellow ping pong ball. 7th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball 13th birthday P: What would you like for you birthday son? B:A yellow ping pong ball. P:Hmm, fine. 17th birthday P: What would you like for your birthday son? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: That's is I'm getting you a car! Day before 18th the boy drives into a bridge. He lies in his hospital bed and his parents are there. P: What would you like for you birthday tomorrow? B: A yellow ping pong ball. P: Fine. Why do you want these ping pong balls anyway? B: Because. And then he died.

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Two men walked into a bar. The third transformed into a duck and flew away.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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Q-What happened to the kid who thought he could fly A-his head exploded while he was sitting in a microwave

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Why did the black guy cross the road? To save the endangered child from getting hit by a car across the street.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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What is a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? A quadriplegic who enjoys the fall.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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What did Tim play with his friends? Nothing. He has no friends.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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Person 1: Eric is in the hospital! I think it was those depression pills. Person 2: What did he overdose? Person 3: No he just took to much.

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Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

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Q:Whats the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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