A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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Shit!

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24

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what is the only death better than asama bin ladin JUSTIN BIEBER'S

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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What happened to the boy who cried wolf? He died.

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How many Jews does it take to fix a gas leak?...

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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What did the innocent little girl get for Christmas? Lymphoma.

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I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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IT WAS NEVER YOURS TO TAKE!

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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If 1 + 2 = 3 Then, what does 2 + 1 equal? It equals 3 due to the fact that reversing the order of numbers does not change the outcome of the equation :D

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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How do you get 1000 pokemon on to a bus? Pikachu!

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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