Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

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Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

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so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

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whats the difference between colby and a high schooler? Colby hasn't matured yet

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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What did the man with scissors do? He cut his balls off.

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It's long!

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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Q: how do you crush a Chinese man's dreams? A: tell him he is worthless and will never prosper.

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Joe Biden

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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