Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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A dog is walking down the street. The dog catcher promptly arrives and takes him to the pound. Two months later the dog is in a new, happy home with a wonderful family.

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asian, do math

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

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Fire extinguishers are sexy.

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what is pink and fishy? pink fish.

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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a kid calls 911 and says ,"is this 911?" and the operator says ,"NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!!!!!"

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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If a tree falls in the forest does a woman hear it? Probably, but the real question is why is there a tree in the kitchen?

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Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops