A mexican Police officer walks into a crime scene. "Ouch." he exclaims, rubbing his forehead where a red bump is already surfacing.

There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do you call a baby who was raped and murdered? Funny

how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

What's white and flies around ? A seagull. What's black and flies around ? A seagull in the darkness.

...NO.

Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

Yo mama is so hot that she needed to lower the temperature

What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

THIS IS SPARTER!!! :3

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a kangeroo??? ... A sheep cannot be crossed with a kangaroo because the genes from sheep cannot work with genes from a kangaroo to produce hybrid sheegaroos or kangareeps.

why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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