a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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What do you get when you mix your mom and your dad? YOU!!!

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What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

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Knock Knock Who's There? Due to the fact that the man asked who's there instead of promptly opening the door, the women on the other side was raped and killed, because she went to that house to seek help.

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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why are black people good at basketball? because they practice

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Why is jim retarded? Because he fucks chickens

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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The penn state football administration

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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Yeah, I assumed so, but I got kinda worried at the same time. Huh... The catchthing says trolololol, no coincidence at all huh? Anyway, take that last comment Nero, I am spent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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