There's was an old lady. She fell in a puddle

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what did the american say to the other american? get out of the way i gotta go to mcdonalds!

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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If one of us goes, all of us go. If we all go, none of us are left out.

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What is the difference between a doorknob? Toast.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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What would you rather do or drag a board?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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What is worse than finding a worm in an apple? The Holocaust

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Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

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What happened to the newlywed couple who couldn't tell the difference between KY jelly and window putty? All their windows fell out.

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Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

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What does WTF stand for? Welcome to Facebook!

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Four rats are smoking in an alley. One rat turns to another and comments, "These are some fine smokes. Where'd ya score these?" The rat holding the pack of Menthols replies, "Off a' Fred." He points to a rotting whale carcass in the road. The other rats are horrified. "How did a whale die in the street?!," they squeak. "He didn't. He died on the beach."

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Hi my name is Jim

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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