What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

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What do a grape and a plane have in common? They both have wings... except for the grape!

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Dear Board of education, so are we.

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A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

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women playing football?

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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I used to play Skyrim but then I took an arrow in the knee. Then, I played MW3 until I took a bullet in the elbow. And now, I'm in the hospital wondering why people keep harming me.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the left nut say to the right nut? Nothing

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What did the homeless man without legs and arms, get for Christmas? ... Cancer

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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nick biggs ate a car well his name is nick BIGGS

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whats the diffrence between love and faling in love when u love some one your not falling

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How many cats get hit by a car per day How ever many cats you can find

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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