A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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What's the difference between a freezer and a baby? A freezer doesn't scream when I pack my meat into it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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terry stockton is straight

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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What do you get if you cross a banana, a mango, and an apple? A smoothie

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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A dentist, a librarian, a construction worker, a gynecologist, a zookeeper, a shoemaker, a terrorist, a politician, a cyclist, a truck driver, a kangaroo, a Mexican, a blonde, a Jewish black guy, a Honda Civic, a monkey, a penguin, an FBI agent, a stock broker, a president of a foreign country, a CEO of a very wealthy company regarding AIDS, a founder of one of top downloaded apps in the market, a chief executive, a cook, a waitress, a priest, a nun, a little boy, a fairy, a dinosaur, and a skeleton walks into a bar. There's no punchline.

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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(Knock Knock) Who's there? You were late paying your mortgage and now your house is being repossessed by the bank.

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What do you call six million jews? Dead.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

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A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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