how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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I had sex. Just kidding.

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Murder me once, shame on you.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

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what did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur nothing dinosaurs can't talk

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

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What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

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A fat guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "the regular?" The fat man replies, "actually this time I wanna try something different."

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock? whos there not Suzie

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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Knock Knock Who's there Bannana O He lives next door

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Why was the woman's purse so heavy? Because it had a lot of stuff in it.

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Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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