knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Do you know what they say? Words

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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Knock, knock (No one was home)

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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If you are a girl reading this! why did you stop making some food?

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

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What do you call a gay man who has sex with a woman? A bisexual.

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WHATS BALCK AND YELLOW AND UNDER WATER? A BUMBLE BEE IN A SUBMARINE.... YEAH YOU BETTER #$%^ING LAUGH YOU HOMO

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So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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