Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "Why the long face?" Unable to under stand English the horse shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Haikus are awesome but sometimes they don't make sense hippopotamus

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the girl with AIDs receive for her birthday? Unprotected sex

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops