What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

thumb_up thumb_down -103

A man walks into a bar and utters profanity because he's hit his head on a protruding metal object that cannot move out of the way and has therefore made him look stupid because he neglected to walk around it.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A labrador, a chihuahua, and a great dane walk onto a bar. They are strays and were brought to the pound where they were more than likely put down or adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why didn't the blonde have friends? She couldn't find them at the store.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

patient: Doctor, It hurts when I go like this. doctor: Don't do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A Weight loss service that works

thumb_up thumb_down -106

What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A black man enters a bar. The bartender approaches him, and asks "who will it be?" The black man pulls out a gun and robs the bar, he is then arrested ten days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats white, and stinks of urine? nick griffin's toliet

thumb_up thumb_down -19

KSI

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Your friend is so gay that he came out of the closet and was accepted warmly by his friends and family for who he is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why do you almost never hear Americans complain about doing their laundry? Because they have a washing machine and they realize the majority of people in developing nations do their laundry by hand, using a wash board.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

thumb_up thumb_down +6

LIE

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops