What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

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general tso's broccoli

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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I used to be an inventor, but I had other ideas.

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Why did he die? He was sick.

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What's worse than genital warts? Herpes. You can get rid of warts

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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I had a "What would jesus do bracelet" and some kid kicked me in the shin... As i was contemplating on what to do to him, i looked at the bracelet and remembered.... SO I SET HIM ON FIRE AND SENT HIM TO HELL!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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Why didn't the little boy believe in Santa Clause? Because' he saw his parents putting presents under the tree, and saw his over weight father eat all the cookies.

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Vagina ass.

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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Weiner

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Whats worse than 3 black guys. 4 black guys.

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What did Hellen Keller call her dog? Kamikaze-go, because he was an Akita from Japan and that was his name.

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Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops