A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How's it going?" The man replies, "Bless you." The man walks out of the bar, as his peers realize he was honest when he told them a week earlier that he had autism.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? One is alive meanwhile the other is an object full of solid waste.

Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? The Ferrari is expensive and the babies are in a nice hospital.

Why did the jew tie his shoes? because his shoes were untied

What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

Smart Blondes

Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

did you hear about the man who crossed the road? he made it.

why do elephants drink so much? to try to forget.

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

women have rights

What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? Drowning.

What would Michael Jackson do if he saw a naked child alone in an alleyway? It is unknown, as he cannot be asked about this hypothetical scenario due to his passing in 2009.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...