When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

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What do you call someone allergic to water ? Waterproof

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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what do you call a black guy fixing your electricity an electrician

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What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

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A man with no legs walks into a bar.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you dirty racist.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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Why Oscar lives with elephants in a zoo ? Because he's an elephant.

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What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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hi michael

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Why did the black guy drown in the river?? unfortunately he owed 10,000 dollars to a loan shark and couldnt pay his dues So he was tied to an anchor and put in the river.

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this guy didnt get any pussy last night so go easy on him I I I V

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A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table. (TD)

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Knock knock, Who's there? To get to the other side

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involved parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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