That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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Why does dan leave Amy? Because dan is in another relationship and did not want to be unlawful to Amy.

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What's the difference between a cake and Jews? A cake comes out of the oven.

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John - hey do you have tickets to see Oasis? Sam - No I bought green day tickets intead. John rolls his eyes at sam very dissapointedly then proceeds to go home. The next day Sam phones John excitedly telling him he traded his Green day tickets for Oasis tickets, a smile appears on Johns and Sams faces, not that they can see each other, they both then put the phone down. An African died. Green Day are a bad band.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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the real mccoy

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q: Why was George Washington buried on a hill? A: Because he's dead.

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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Yo momma's so fat, she slipped into a diabetic coma.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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What do you call a homeless person with a dog? An animal lover.

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

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Q: What's worse than dropping your phone in water? A: Throwing water at your phone.

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One morning a man was frustrated at the dining table. His wife ask "What's wrong?". He says "I can't fit this stupid puzzle pieces together." His wife asks "What's it a picture of?" The man says "A rooster" The wife says "Honey, put the cornflakes back in the cereal box." The man says "no".

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A man finds a lamp on the beach so decides to rub it. Nothing happens.

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zebras

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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