whose better then Sarah, Georgia and ellie NO ONE!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how did little johnny die? i killed him

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Oh no! I forgot the milk!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you challenge the tarsier to a staring contest, it wouldnt undersand a word you say, but it would stare at you when you would think that was apropos. the tarsier wouldnt really think anything and would just make a peepee

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a rock become when it falls into the red sea? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Me: Whats your favorite color? Joe: Blue! Me: Wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How come Emmet Till never attended college? Because he was brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You should never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops