How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

what colour is a frog green you idiot

Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

There was this guy who walked in the bar with one shoe. The bartender asks what happened. The man said the shoe didn't fit. So the bartender ask where is the other shoe. The man said he threw it away. The bartender looks in the trashcan and sure enough he sees his other shoe. The bartender says "This is the same size as your other shoe. Why are you wearing one shoe?" The man says "I'm just playing a prank on you. There's a hidden camera over there and over there. Is it okay if I can put you on YouTube?" and the bartender says "No."

How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

Your social life

Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

Why did your mom cross the road? She Tripped and started rolling

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

Where's my tractor?

How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

the cast of the jersey shore

A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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