Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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Joay impistato is a fig

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

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What did the cowboy say to the skunk? You smell.

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"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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whats retarded and looks like a fat duck? GEorge goodburn

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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