I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? A:Pull the pin and throw it back

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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What happens when you mix Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, and Potassium? NaBrO

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A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Mitt Romney.

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

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Yo mama's so fat that she took a look at her life and realized she wanted a change so she joined a dieting group and started eating better and exercising more and she got down to her goal weight and now looks and feels better than ever it's very inspirational, good for her.

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How did the dragon get AIDS? He had sex with an HIV positive dragon months prior.

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roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

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What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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who hooks up with grade 7's? •Jake Muchnik

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Kendall and Nick Fredick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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