Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

Waseem is not a funny guy!

A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

A black man walks into a bar. A few minutes later a jewish man enters. Next door, a twelve year old girl is crying over the tragic death of her mother due to terminal cancer.

A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

Hey, look under there! Under what?

What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

A russian gives away vodka.

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

a fat black man walks into an aquarium he was quickly shot down because he was mistaken for a whale.

What did the white guy say to the black guy? I used to be black also. My name is Michael.

Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

YOLO MAH BROLO

Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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