Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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What's green and has wheels? A snow flake. I lied about the wheels, and the color.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because it was a hammer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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WHat is worse then Fred singing and cumy condom

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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What do you call a toddler with a gun? Interesting

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why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from the black man

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fkda

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Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What did the pedophile say to the little girl? "I have a condition and I think it would be healthy for both of us if you stayed within the supervision of your parents"

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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John Katzenbach were drinking a soda... He is the author of The Psicoanalist

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Whats worse then any minority? inter-minority breeding.

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That awkward moment when the moment isn't awkward.

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What did the doctor say when he lost his glasses? Where are my glasses?

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

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Q: What is better than Vagina? A: Nothing

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: ...... Person 1 leaves because no one is answering the door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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