Knock knock. Who's there? Sam, your doorbell isn't working.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there? rock rock who? rock on the ground, don't trip

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, Mitchell ate it before it could do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why am i on this site? cause its funny

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse then being raped? Nothing it will ruin your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma is so fat I really feel sorry for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happen to the guy who didn't breathe A. He died

thumb_up thumb_down +9

SC Johnson a Family Company

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom is so fat because she ate her emotions when your dad walked out, not to mention her history of bulimia as a teenager.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

your a towel.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops