After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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What's the difference between Micheal Phelps and Adolf Hitler. Michael Phelps is an Olympic swimmer who has won many gold medals in the 2008 Olympics in swimming races and is considered to be one of the greatest swimmers ever. Adolf Hitler was a terrible man who was the leader of the Nazi party during the World Wars. He ordered to kill eight million Jews, causing what is called the Holocaust. He is considered one of the worst men in human history. Other immature people would say Micheal Phelps can finish races.

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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Womens rights

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There is a British man, a Mexican man,and a American man on a boat. The captain sad the boat is carrying to much weight so the each have to throw off something they have to much of. The Brit throws tea, The Mexican throws tacos, and The American throws the Mexican.

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Q: What's better than ice cream? A: Two ice creams! Q: What's better than 2 ice creams? A: Still two ice creams!

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What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

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Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know.

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What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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Your so stupid, that your stupid.

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Blind people can't read this.

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what's red and blue? your heart

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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