A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What did the girl say to her tits? I wanna suck u.

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Don't look! I'm naked! No, seriously! I'm naked!

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What did Steegers say when he lost his TARDIS? "The niggers stole it again!"

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roses are red, voilets are creepy, i can beat you in call of duty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet with his great grandmother who got rushed to hospital due to having an epileptical seizure and is in life threatning conditions.

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How Long Is A Chinaman's Name

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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Why did the little girl cry when the x-ray showed her mom had a tumor? It was benign.

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What did the latino say when he was struck over the head with a shovel? "ouch"

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N

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he is Jewish

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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How full could a skeleton's stomach possibly be? Replete with perceptible emptiness.

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a knife? Stabbed.

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126

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops