Anything Dane Cook says

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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what's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? the holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? three bee stings.

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Why was the little girl screaming? She was on fire. ~G TY

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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Why did Landry hit the man with a metal pipe? Because he was a rapist and wanted to remove his virgin status.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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why is thus joke stupid? because it is! deal with it!

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Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

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A. Four gay men walked into the bar there was one stool left what did they do? B. They flipped the chair upside down By grant c

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why didnt anyone like matt adams? cuz hes a stupid buttface

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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roses are grey violets are grey i am color blind

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What the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Why can all black people dance? I have no idea, quite frankly I find that to be a insensitve racial stereotype.

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A man walks into a bar. What's missing? The joke.

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead jump off a cliff. Which one hits the ground last? Depends on their weight and drag co-efficient.

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What do you call a black piano player? You call him a pianist who plays a black piano. However, that really doesn't seem all that short, so you may just want to call him by his name, whether it be Bob, Jeff, or Ronaldo.

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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Q: how many people with adhd does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: wanna go ride bikes?

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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What's green and if it fell from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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