Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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What'd yellow and can"t swim. A black person with a yellow shirt on.

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- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What happens when you swallow a battery? You turn into one.

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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Anything Dane Cook says

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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a Chinese man an and a southern red neck walked into a country club and the chinese man got jumped and he left with no money

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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What is the best type of pepper? Well, some people say that the yellow pepper is the sweetest and most delicious, although others prefer red, green or orange peppers.

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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What did the pacific ocean do to the Atlantic ocean? He waved.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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A Weight loss service that works

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican when he entered the US? How was your flight?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops