sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

thumb_up thumb_down +21

- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +21

i joined the nazis... but 2 days later i found out i am a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +19

have you ever tasted ethiopian food? ..... neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red, Violets are violet. You guys really suck at making poems...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down +19

the

thumb_up thumb_down +19

22

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops