What's the difference between red paint and blue paint? One looks like blood and is used a lot in restaurants. The other is blue.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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1+1 =? Too

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knock, knock. come in.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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Girl-Does this dress make me look fat? Boy-Hell yea you do, wait, let me speak your language...... Cows go MOOOOO -Ryan V

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

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If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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um...... What's worse than 15 babies stapled to trees? sixteen babies staples to trees PS: I will stop posting if 3 people don't like this by tommarow.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Leukemia.

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

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Person 1: What did the woman say when - Person 2: I know! It doesnt matter, shes a woman

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What do you say the big head boy? Brush yo teeth

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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Why are you fat? You like devil dogs

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Whats red and hurts when you bite into it? A brick.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops