My mom caught me masturbating.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

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You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

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Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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guy walks into a bar a metal bar ouch

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Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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Penis.

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

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What did the father say to his daughter? "I'm going to rape you."

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What did the homosexual find when he proceeded to his mailbox? His mail.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm asking, really... ..come on, someone has to know...

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She has been abused severely for seven years by her pet kangaroo.

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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