Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

Q: What's a Mexican's favorite sport? A: Cross Country

Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

What did the man say to the really attractive woman? We are different genders

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

what a filthy dirty mess also dirt

how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

Japan called... They need help.

The daring man said "here goes nothing." And nothing happened. -Tag

There are two fish in a bathtub. One turns to the other and says "Could you please pass the soap?" The other one says "What do I look like to you, a typewriter?"

The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

What do you call a black man? Jamal

3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

Why did the blond do so horribly on the SAT's? She was pulled outside halfway through her testing session by the school janitor who molested and murdered her in the bathroom.

if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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