What did Michael Jackson think when someone threw a tomato off his head? The same as he was thinking before it happened, because everything that goes through Michael Jackson's head is pornographic images.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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a guy walked into a bar and said "ow!"

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why did the boy fall of the bridge? He got shot in the head.

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what did the doctor say to the woman? I have 3 testicles

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ROSS G IS OBESE

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?!? The teacher is a highly-intelligent organism and the train is a large vehicle used in transporting goods over long distances on the ground.

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What's funnier than poop? More poop

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

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Why'd Sam run away Because charlie bit his finger

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the retard's house *knock knock* who's there? the chicken

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops