Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the farmer cry after a phone call? he just found out his wife just died of lung cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So horse walk into a bar. The barkeep says "Look horse. You cant be in Here. You're too big and you're going to hurt someone....Its just not gonna work out."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +21

- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue im a retard dictionary

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q.What did the muffin say when the other muffin said, "How ya doin'?" A."HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the girl like d1ck? because d1ck was a nice boy

thumb_up thumb_down +21

sally stole a t.v what happend next? she was arested

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the guy tell the other guy? you're gay

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops