What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Why did the tomato blush? Because it began to ripen.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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I dumped this chick who was cross eyed. I thought she was seeing other people.

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A dyslexic boy is writing an essay. Luckily, his disease is mild and he does not misspell anything.

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Roses are red Violets are penis

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What sound does a baby make in a blender? Idk, i was too busy masturbating to hear.

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? F*ck

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What did the black man say to the asian man? Whats up man!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit

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A: Have you ever heard of a blue waffle? B: Yes, i eat them every morning... A: DO you REALLY know what a blue waffle is? B: Yes...

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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