What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Scientist 1: "What's your research paper about?" Scientist 2: "Homosexuality in fruit bats." Scientists 3, 4 & 5: "AHAHAHAHA LOL WUT"

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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A minor walks into a bar. He's not very good at limbo.

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Yes.

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Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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If shoes could talk they'd tell you that they are not willing support your weight & floors are extremely dirty.

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What is invisible and smells like bananas? Monkey Farts.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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how did the man get down the stairs? he walked.

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Why grannies do not buy a menstrual pads? Cause they will never have their period anymore.

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A white man walked in da hood aaand he never came back

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Matt Damon

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A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

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#1 rule in arguments: if losing, start correcting their grammar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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