How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

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There was a homeless man living all by his lonesome on a street corner, desperately begging for money. Suddenly, a car comes to a screeching halt and out of the window flies a thin, square piece of plastic. The hobo successfully catches it in both hands. "Whats dis?" he says, "What da hick can I do wid a stinkin wada plastic?" he says, failing to realizing the significance of the thin square of plastic, for he is but a hobo and has been out of touch with reality for quite some time. After some time, he gains back his common sense, "Aha!" he shouts, "it is but a condom!" A few days pass, the man wondering alone in search for a way to make use of his prized, plastic square. He encounters a beautiful female hobo (at least he thinks she is) and they make love. So not only does the hobo make use of the silly condom (which expired-he just doesn't know) he get's laid and keeps warm in the brutal winter weather by getting cozy with the hobo chick. There are some pros in being a hobo, you know. After a month, both hobos make the faithful decision to join their cardboard boxes together, thus creating a new home where they live happily ever after <3

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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a blind man walks across a road. he's dead

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What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Whay was 6 afraid of 7? 7 had an extra penis

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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I tell an anti joke!.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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Guy: If you can guess what's in my hand, you can have it. Girl: If it fits in one hand, you can keep it!

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Why was John sad? His parents were murdered.

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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Romney 2012

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I am on a escalator.

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Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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