What is the most important thing to have during a zombie apocalypse? Oxygen.

Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not. Numbers are not living organisms and thus are incapable of experiencing emotion.

whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

Where do you find a one-legged cat? Right where you left it.

Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

fack me!

When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

asian drivers.

Why did the Nazi shoot the Jew in the head? Because he was a Jew. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

JEWS

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-R-U-D-T-F With me

What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to the gay guys house. Knock Knock! Who's there? The chicken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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