how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Becasue she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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what do you call 6 black guys hung in a tree? a arazona wind chime

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How do you push a blond off a cliff? Push here.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

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FAP

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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A blonde walked into a phone pole.

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Swiggity Swooty. I'm currently in pursuit for that part of your body people refer to as "booty".

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when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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