Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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Hey

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Matt Damon

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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why do people just recycle the same jokes over and over are you that desperate for some f*cking attention? The Holocaust

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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Q. Why was the dad sad? A.His favorite team lost in the championship.

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What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

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you were my brotha, from another motha, you touch my girl, ill leave you dead in the gutta.

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What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

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ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

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Q: What do you call a black hitchhiker? A: A hitchhiker

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whats worse than your computer crashing? your plane crashing...twice

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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